Tips for Living Wicca: Maybe It's Time for Some De-sensitivity Training

Know a few people who you think could use some classes on sensitivity training? Probably... people can be so rude, especially on the faceless internet where they can spew venom without really being accountable for it.

But I'm beginning to think we need to start running classes on de-sensitivity training. When you get to some forums and chat rooms that try to shield us from the true trolls and irate nutjobs, it's like a haven-- but then the problem becomes the opposite.

You have to walk on eggshells on a lot of Wiccan/Pagan forums. Some people positively freak out on you because you disagree with something they believe in, or because you do something they see as 'dark' or 'evil'. You even say something simple like "I don't work with that pantheon" or "I don't practice that form of magic" and people who do take it as a personal slap in the face that something they love doesn't garner enough interest for you.

I remember a couple of years ago, a woman positively went off on a rampage because I said familiars are not a concept that come from Wicca (which, factually speaking, they're not). She reamed me for saying people can't believe in or have familiars, and how dare I insult people and their precious pets who they consider familiars, and that I have no right telling people what to believe or what to do on their spiritual path...

How she read all that into my simple sentence, I'll never know. But this strikes me as someone very insecure who needs hefty doses of external validation to feel good about themselves. And that's not good.

It's getting so where it's almost impossible to have a good, fair debate on serious topics-- because to have an opinion is apparently 'bashing' people who don't agree with it.

Then the occasional Christian evangelist wanders in to preach fire and brimstone, and oh brother-- the whole house falls down and people go nuts.

My Tip for You Today: Learn to live & let live, try to desensitize yourself.

If you find yourself frequently getting into a huff on message boards, always leaving people little lectures about how they should not say such things, or getting into arguments when trolls try to bait you... you just might be one of those people who need desensitivity training.

Having compassion and being respectful is a good thing, but going overboard where you can't take the slightest bit of disharmony is -- you guessed it -- imbalanced.

And we do strive for balance, don't we?

This kind of polarized (unbalanced) reaction to people doesn't mean other people need to be more sensitive of you, it means you need to learn to reel it in, and be more secure in your own opinion that someone with a different perspective doesn't send you into a tizzy.

Yes, it's wrong to be deliberately rude and mean and nasty and such-- but it's no better always being a powder keg ready to go off. Balance, people. Balance.

Do you have trouble keeping your balance when people express disagreement?

Tips for Living Wicca: Learn to Really Control the Elements

I see a lot of Youtube videos where people claim they can control the elements-- they can make a candle flame bob up and down, or spin a piece of paper or make water move funny.

Well... sorry to sound like such a skeptic, but in this day and age it's just too easy to fake things with very simple methods at home.

The problem here is that a lot of young, impressionable Wiccans, or even long-time Wiccans who have not had very good training, believe that this has something to do with our religion.

No, it doesn't actually-- it's just a parlor trick. 

Really controlling the Elements is not playing around with little bits of earth, air, fire & water like you're the Last Airbender or a minion of Captain Planet.

The Elements are not just bits of dirt, H20, flames and breezes. The Elements are inherent in everything. 

Fire is not just a campfire or a burning candle (those are just pure representatives of that element). Fire is also your passion, your courage, your will. It's lava and hot frying pans. It's throwing a temper tantrum, and throwing every bit of yourself into winning a marathon. It making love, it's heartburn, it's getting lost when you paint a picture. Fire is the sound of brass instruments blaring, the cinnamon spice in your cocoa and the warmth of an electric blanket. Fire is dying of a high fever or getting a sunburn. 

Likewise, Water is more than just what fills your cup-- it's the moon, it's depression, it's compassion, it's the blood in your veins and the saliva you drool when you sleep. 

The Element of Earth is not just the ground beneath your feet, but your stubbornness, and your nurturing side. It's hard work and physical labor. It's most land mammals and ground-dwelling insects. It's the food you put in your body, and the crap that comes out the other end.

And Air-- not just wind that musses your hair. It's your thought processes, it's stimulating conversation, it's flutes and perfume and talking on cell phones, it's witty comebacks and cruel insults. 

I can go on but you get the point... there's more to the Elements than just their physical compound.

Now that you  know that, you know the secret to really 'controlling the Elements' in Wicca.   

My Tip for You Today: Control the Elements by taking control of their influence on you.

Control Water: try to be caring, try not to be overly-sensitive. Learn to develop and listen to your intuition. Keep your feelings in check.

Control Fire: express yourself creatively and follow your passions, but try to control your temper and impulses reasonably. 

Control Earth: set goals, work hard and be productive. Don't let yourself get stuck in a rut, and try not to be too stubborn, however, or you become stagnant.

Control Air: use your noggin, that's what it's there for. Think about your actions, think about your words and how you use them. Be open-minded, but try not to be gullible. 

Now, you are a powerful Wiccan. 

Can you control the Elements? 

Tips for Living Wicca: Add Your Link Up Goals

Got a blog or webpage? Join up with your fellow Pagan community for July Link-Up Goals. 

Here are my goals for July:

* Clear the closets, cleanse them and reorganize them to create more harmony in the home.

* Pathworking to explore the meaning of some recent dreams.

* Get applications for the Wiccan Way Grove out and complete the lesson plans for the first two sessions.

* Get 28 of my Book of Shadows pages up so people can enjoy them.

* Prepare the family's Lughnasadh celebration.

My Tip for You Today: List your Full Moon goals for this lunar cycle here. Setting goals is a great way to help keep you on track, and by sharing them you gain the support of a community in cheering you on. 

If you want to join the Full Moon goal link, visit:

What are your goals?