Even if it's not happening now, it's probably happened to you at one time or another... but for some people, live is a constant roller coaster of ambivalence.
I know that I used to be torn up over everything, all the time. This was my guilt... my mother had programmed my subconscious mind with a lot of guilt. So it was terrible; I was always torn between doing what I thought was really right, or what I was taught I should do. No matter which I chose, I felt guilty as hell... so even though I made a choice, I was still conflicted over it and could not move out from under the shadow of the path I rejected.
A lot of times I couldn't even choose, so I would just sit there frozen, like Bambi in headlights, in the middle of the road. I thought making the choice would make me a bad person, that it was selfish to move forward and do something wrong/bad. But as it turns out, the only wrong/bad thing was to allow this conflict to consume my life.
Of course, everyone's subconscious programming and personal issues are different, but trying to resolve personal conflicts comes down to the same thing: learning to let go of one thing, and embrace the other.
How do you do this? Well for me, I do this ritually at my altar. I use the drama of ritual and symbolism to choose one path and let go of the other. This might be burning something, burying it, writing it on a paper and tearing it up and letting the pieces blow away in the wind. Write it on a cheap plate from a thrift shop, then shatter it. Symbolically, let it go.
Embrace the other thing-- write it on your arm or leg or in a hidden place on your body so you can look at it a few days. Write it on a piece of paper and put it on your altar, set a candle in a holder on top of it and burn the candle for peace with your choice and success on your path. Stick a piece of paper with your choice written on it inside the stuffing of a pillow-- and literally embrace it whenever you think about the choice you made and worry about it.
A final step you might have to take is to forgive yourself-- it is necessary to grant yourself absolution for making your choice, for letting something go. Take a shower and 'wash away your sins' so to speak with some salt water or a cleansing herbal infusion. Repeat to yourself as often as necessary that you didn't do anything wrong; it was a sad situation and you did what was necessary.
My Tip for You Today: Resolve your personal conflicts, and use your spiritual path to help you.
It's not healthy to carry on in that state for longer than you need to be. And if you find yourself in that state a lot, then you need to begin mastering yourself and learning to move past it because it's not healthy for your overall well being. You need to find a healthy balance.
The mind is a tricky thing; sometimes ritual and drama speak to it more clearly than sitting there agonizing over the choices, so use them. Think of what symbolically represents resolving this conflict in your own mind, and do it.
It's necessary to unblock your path so that you can move forward on it.
Do you use any kind of symbolic acts or drama to get things through to your subconscious mind?
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