One of the
biggest faults I had to get over was how hard it was for me to ever admit a
mistake. I grew up with a mom who was absolutely certain that she was always
right, and who very deeply ingrained the idea into me that being wrong was a
sign of major weakness and failure.
This is such
a terrible burden to carry; it really is. Everyone is wrong sometimes, and if
we don’t learn to accept that it can pretty much be the root of some major
problems, and will usually take you down one of two roads.
One road it
might take you down is that it will ruin your own self-worth. Your self-esteem
is a fragile thing and if it hinges on always being right, then it’s going to
get damaged every time that doesn’t happen (which is what happened to me). It
may eventually get destroyed altogether. Being wrong doesn’t make you inferior or
unworthy; it makes you human, and people aren’t going to think less of you for
being wrong. They will think less of you if you can’t admit it.
The other
road it may take you down is further and further into self-delusions about your
own infallibility, and this can truly destroy relationships because it’s hard
to be friends with or live with someone who thinks they are beyond reproach
(which is what happened to my mother). There is no glory in always being right,
especially when it’s a false victory.
My Tip for
You Today:
Begin practicing humility and admit a mistake that you’ve made. If
it’s difficult, then it’s all the more reason you need to do it. If you feel it’s
impossible because you’ve never made a mistake, or you attempt to redirect the
blame to others (like my mother, who would say, “the only mistake I made was
being too nice and letting people walk all over me.”), then you may need therapy— and I do not say that facetiously because
yes, you have screwed up; if you think you haven’t you’re in denial.
The Charge
of the Goddess tells us to “Keep pure your highest
ideal; strive ever towards it; let naught stop you or turn you aside.”
We can’t learn and grow if we can’t be honest with ourselves, and others.
Delusions, lies, pride, etc., are all the kinds of things that act like a
weight on a spiritual journey. Until you learn to dump some baggage you’re
never going to reach the heights you hope to reach.
You
might start by writing about it—write a long letter about how you were wrong,
and consider the ripples that it created in your life, and the lives of others.
Really examine it, and ask yourself—is putting up a front really worth it?
Is
there a mistake you made that you are afraid to admit?
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