Your immediate answer: I know, BUT...
And then the excuses come:
- BUT I really wanted to...
- BUT I had to...
- BUT I couldn't (I was tired, I was hungry, I was busy, I was late, I was helpless)
And my personal favorite:
- BUT he/she/it MADE me (because they made me mad, angry, late, hurt, they're mean, they're stupid, etc.)
Don't get me wrong-- sometimes excuses are legitimate. But I've come to notice there is a connection that people who say, "I know, but..." multiple times per day are usually the people who rarely have legit excuses. And the people who almost never say, "I know, but..." are the people who always have legitimate excuses, and are usually the most responsible, reliable, self-disciplined people around.
I used to live my life by "I know, but..." but now I try to avoid it. I have learned that I prefer to take personal responsibility for myself and my actions. Sometimes it makes me have to admit I did something wrong-- but it helps put control of my life in my hands. I'm still learning to do this, and I'm such a stubborn person who hates to be wrong that it is still a struggle... BUT I try.
My Tip for You Today:Watch that but of yours. Anytime you feel like justifying actions you know were wrong, don't let yourself wriggle out of responsibility with a "but" excuse. And if you do find yourself saying it, examine why.
A key tenet in the Wiccan religion is accepting personal responsibility for oneself; this means being considerate of actions before you take them, and accepting the blame and the consequences of one's actions.
This can be very difficult, because it's a blow to the ego-- which is why we often look for excuses, to soften that blow to our fragile egos. But protecting the ego doesn't help us. So don't be afraid to take a kick in the 'but'. Even if you can't bring yourself to take responsibility out loud to others, at least refrain from excuses unless they are 100% legit; and start admitting your faults to yourself.
When you start owning your own faults and flaws and mistakes, you have a tendency to think more carefully about what you do and say in the future.
Do you have big BUTS looming over your life? Tell us below if this hits home with you.